The Truth About Banks

Banks and insurance companies are nothing more than legal entities whose sole business model is to completely fuck over consumers in a variety of ways (most of which are undisclosed and shady as hell).  If aliens came down and observed how this country operated, they would assume our Constitution had a provision that stated: ‘Banks and other financial institutions are required to maintain a profit margin of at least 20%.’  It should be a written law, because it seems to be an inalienable right.  God forbid someone suggest anything that would prevent banks from charging you 30% on money that they borrow from the Fed at 0.25%.  Holy shit!  That would be such an unfair burden on these pricks, and of course it would completely stifle growth and limit the movement of capital around the globe.  The entire economy would fall to pieces if such a regulation existed.  And can you imagine the increased costs involved with all the extra paperwork these banks would have to deal with?  Hell, they might have to hire another 7 people!!  Get the fuck out of here…

It may sound like I am over-exaggerating or just being belligerent, but this is the exact line of reasoning these assholes give when anyone attempts to cut into their ridiculous margins.  It goes something like this: “Well in the end, the middle-class and poor will be the ones who suffer by such regulations, because of course we will have to pass these increased regulatory costs onto consumers in the form of higher fees and new account management fees.”  And then, as is always the case, the dickless politicians in Washington will cave into their demands, because nobody wants to increase costs on ordinary middle-income Americans who actually vote.  That would be irresponsible, especially in such troubling economic times, and especially during an election year.

Recently, there actually has been some watered-down regulation on banks since the financial crisis.  And these banks certainly made good on their promise.  I get charged a $35 overdraft fee and then $5/day anytime I accidently exceed the available funds in my checking account.  And almost every account charges an annual fee if you don’t have a shitload of money in it.  Banks are the only institutions that can actually profit from the simple fact that you don’t have a ton of money.  Does this make any fucking sense?

The truth is this: banks really don’t do shit.  A typical bank makes money based on the spread of the yield curve, which is essentially the difference between short-term financing and long-term interest rates.  The Federal Reserve sets the rate at which banks can borrow money short-term (from the Fed itself).  This rate has been 0.25% for the past 3-4 years since the economy collapsed.  So even though it is advertised as a short-term cost of financing, it really has worked as an intermediate-term borrowing cost because it has been that low since 2009, and the Fed has guaranteed it will remain that low until 2013-2014.  Right now, you could have perfect credit, a ton of net worth, and when you go to refinance your home they may give you a 4% rate on a 30 year mortgage.  Most people think this is a great deal, and historically speaking, it is a very good rate.  But keep in mind, these fucks who just offered you a 4% interest rate have been borrowing money at 0.25% for years.  They are booking a 1,500% profit margin on your mortgage, not including all the bullshit fees they throw in at closing (anyone ever ask why the application fee is $400?).  Plug that shit into an excel spreadsheet and do the math yourself if you don’t believe me – 1,500% margin ((4.00-0.25)/0.25)).  How many other businesses make that kind of profit for essentially doing nothing but a credit check and pushing some paper around?  And this is the best-case scenario, considering you have perfect credit and a lot of net worth.  It’s a fucking joke.

God forbid you don’t have a 750 FICO score and a shitload of other assets, because then the banks will really stick it up your ass.  Look at the credit card industry.  The cheapest credit card I could get charges me over 25% APR.  Of course they charge a higher rate to cover the risk of default since my FICO score sucks balls.  So let’s go ahead and look at the margin of safety they provide themselves on such a credit card loan – ((25.00-0.25)/0.25)) = 9,900% profit margin.  That is pretty sweet for an industry that single-handedly caused the entire global financial system to collapse a few years ago.  And the same tax-payers who bailed their asses out are still getting gouged like nothing ever happened.

I live in Wilmington, Delaware, which is the credit card bank capital of the world – primarily because state law allows Delaware companies to annihilate consumers with interest rate policy.  Go to downtown Wilmington and all you will see is big banks.  Look anywhere else within the city limits, and you will see a bunch of poor people shooting each other, over-crowded prisons, and an urban drug problem per capita that completely destroys that of any other major city.  Wilmington is a complete shithole, but yet these fucking credit card banks are printing money because of the state’s ridiculous laws.  All of the elected politicians from Delaware, some of whom I agree with on most issues such as Joe Biden, are patsies for the fucking banks.  You would think these shithead bankers would plow a bunch of their profits into the community and try to revitalize the city.  But no; they are spending their time in Washington D.C., crying like bitches that any changes to their current business model will destroy the economy.  If a fraction of the money they pay their lobbyists was used to strengthen the community, Wilmington, DE would be a fucking utopia.  Instead, if you walk three blocks from virtually anywhere in the city, you will probably get robbed and then shot.  That’s right.  Even if you give your wallet to the asshole who robs you in Wilmington, that asshole will shoot you while you’re walking away.  The street thugs here are just like the banks.

Personally, I’ve decided to give myself a bailout.  I owe a shitload of money in credit card and student loan debt.  So I’ve decided that I’m just not going to pay it.  Fuck these pieces of shit who call themselves bankers.  They have already destroyed my credit, so what else can they do to me?  As far as I know, they can’t throw me in jail.  So when they call me, I usually just tell them to go fuck themselves.  The day they reduce my interest rate to something that gives them less than a 100% profit margin will be the day I pay.  And now since I wrote this post, I will simply refer all collections people to ‘The Noonan World Report’ instead of verbally explaining my position.  This way I can use my debt as a way to plug my website.  Please do the same if you happen to find yourself in a similar situation.

– Kevin

Big Pharma and Personal Health

Healthy citizens take a huge financial burden off of the federal government. However, does the federal government actually want healthy citizens? The government, since its inception in 1776, has grown in ways the founding fathers would never have dreamed of. While I am a realist and I understand that modern society has become increasingly complex since the 18th century, the government is meddling in areas it should absolutely not meddle in. It costs money to create these bureaus and pay people to run them; lots and lots of money. While I am in no way opposed to the government providing healthcare to all of its citizens, I am opposed to the way with which it controls what we put into our bodies.

Liberals and conservatives fight about many things that do not really matter, such as the death penalty and abortion. Both will continue to happen, no matter how fierce your opinion. And both groups are equally deserving of harsh critique. However, one area the liberals in particular have it right is in regards to personal health. While I am in no means a model of personal health, as I consume inordinate amounts of greasy, processed, and fattening foods, I understand the body’s need to detoxify itself through strenuous exercise and hydration. Many Americans are so worried about Obamacare that they fail to recognize the most important issue. WHY DO SO MANY OF US NEED SO MUCH FUCKING HEALTHCARE. Fuck it and fuck them. Do not rely on the federal government to keep you healthy. If you are relying on a United States federal employee for your well-being, you are relying on someone who is: A- corrupt or B-too stupid to work in business. I will rely on option C- myself, and that is what all of you should do.

If you’re so fucking worried about Obamacare, here’s a thought: get yourself, your kids, and your friends in order. Exercise 30 minutes a day, eat fresh fruits, take vitamin C supplements, and drink lots of water. If you saturate yourself with vitamin C and water, your health will take care of itself. Colds, viruses, and all these stupid fucking reasons we go to our doctor are entirely preventable. These types of maladies are opportunistic, and they hit when the body is under-hydrated and the immune system compromised. On the exercise front: do not do the same thing over and over again. Like these fucking idiots who run 5 miles/day because they want to lose weight, but do not shed a pound. Guess what? Your body and your muscles are fucking smart. They adjust and adapt to repeated use. The best thing you can do is shock your system by doing new routines every couple of weeks. Cross fit is a great example of this strategy. Interval training and body weight resistance exercises, which emulate athletic movements, create balanced lean muscles.

I understand better than most people that certain afflictions are caused by environmental and/or genetic factors.  In many cases, these issues are out of our control. However, if this nation got a higher percentage of people to take care of what they can control, the financial burden to society would be reduced in the realm of 10s of billions of dollars per year. This would free up more money to take care of those who suffer from ailments with which they have no control – In other words, people who truly need healthcare. There are certain people who do actually need pills (chemicals) to help them, but way too many people are being over-diagnosed and over-medicated.

So here is the question: with the current structure of our federal government, and big pharmaceutical companies flush with billions in cash on their balance sheets, do the powers that be even want us to take control of our personal health? The answer is a definitive ‘no.’ If we transformed overnight into a healthy, fit, and energized population, too many companies and government bureaus would be out of business. How do people not see what is going on here?

Personally, I went through a vicious battle with acne throughout my teens and through to college. I was put on numerous drugs such as Accutane and the like, with little to no effect on the acne. However, the drugs did make me very groggy and nauseous at times. No success on the acne front, but they sure made me feel like shit for 5 years. Finally, I took a logical approach. Acne must be something bad in my system trying to get out. Therefore, if I change what I am putting into my system, maybe it will clear up. I removed soda from my diet, started daily intake of pure honey (which has anti-bacterial properties), and increased my hydration level and vitamin C intake. After 2 weeks, my acne was completely gone. Five years Accutane = still have acne + feel shitty all the time. Two weeks lifestyle change = acne gone and feel great. What the fuck is going on here? Why are there doctors out there who devote their lives to their profession, slave over med school, but continue this line of bullshit? Why are there kids out there, 2 years post-graduation with a Leadership degree, hired as pharmaceutical sales agents? Some fucking asshole who was doing keg stands at his frat house last year is now selling drugs (that don’t work) to your doctor who will then give them to your parents or your kids.

The problem is the government is not in the business of healing or creating a healthy populace. They are in the business of keeping their cushy jobs, benefits, and pensions. How do they do this? By making us need them more, and by being fuck dolls for the lobbyists who get paid millions of dollars to protect their business interests. Take one look at the balance sheet of a pharmaceutical company and see how much cash they have on hand. My bet is it will be anywhere from $10 billion to $50 billion. Do you realize how much power you have with $50 billion cash? – Enough power to have control over what the vast majority of the population is putting into their bodies. Lipitor was the highest grossing pharmaceutical product of all time. It does not work. Look it up. Lipitor does not work. Accutane does not work. And I would argue that in most cases, chemotherapy does not work. What the fuck is going on here? I know. It’s business. These guys just want to make money, and there is no money in a cure, so they don’t push it. Doctors don’t push it, and the government sure as hell doesn’t push it. They are just fuck dolls for everyone else. Health should not be a business, and it certainly should not be a big business. Healthcare is largely a personal matter, and it is time that we start taking control of our own fucking lives. We need to stop depending on corrupt bureaucrats and pharmaceutical companies who sell little chemical pills that do not work.

I’ll tell you one thing: if I was a doctor and I saw my patients biting it or otherwise not being cured by these chemical pills, I would have more pride than to stand behind what I was doing. As a former athlete, and having worked in many different lines of business, I fucking hate failure more than I like success. They act so smart and fucking mighty with their med school degrees, yet none of them can seem to figure out that pills do not work most of the time. Lifestyle changes work, but they are just not as profitable.

With all this being said, there might be some light at the end of the tunnel. For the same reason the FDA has approved all these chemical based pills (which don’t work) to be commercialized over the past 100 years, we might actually see some new innovative therapies with curative intent hitting the market. The reason, of course, is money. Right now, government budgets are getting to a point where the people in charge realize they need to lessen the financial burden of healthcare, or else they risk the solvency of the federal government itself. With this in mind, they might finally allow stem cell technologies to hit the market in the next 5-10 years. They might also allow new cancer vaccines and viral therapies to hit the market. There are many biotech companies out there specializing in stem cell treatments that replace damaged cells with new healthy cells. Viral therapies for cancer are pre-programmed to kill damaged cells and leave healthy cells alone. Logically, this makes sense. Putting chemicals into the body does not make sense. Ingesting something called Doxorubicin does not sound natural. Replacing damaged retinal cells with new healthy retinal stem cells makes sense. Putting a living virus, which targets and kills cancer cells, into a diseased body also makes sense.

They say the best diets involve eating only living vegetables. It is clear that the best medicine for any ailment also comes from living things, such as stem cells and viruses. Let’s just hope that for our sake, the government allows these treatments to hit the market, even if it is only in the interest of cutting down the financial burden of healthcare.

– Dennis Wise (guest blogger)