Wild Markets, Stupid Politicians

Maybe it’s just me, but now seems like a pretty shitty time for politicians in the developed world to be going on long vacations.  Almost every equity market around the globe dropped over 20% in less than 2 weeks.  Meanwhile, the debt of the U.S. and almost every European country has been downgraded over the past several months.  In some cases, such as Greece, they have been downgraded to junk.  But you would never know any of this shit was going on if you observe the actions of world leaders.  I have been meticulously following every market for the past two weeks (which is why I haven’t posted anything in a while).  So I read a lot of news and I look at different sources to confirm why markets are moving one way or another.  I remember one day last week (I believe it was Wednesday), the euro tanked overnight, futures were down huge, and markets all over the world crashed.  During the day I learned the whole move was primarily due to false rumors of a funding crisis at Societe Generale, a large French bank, and contagion fears spread like wild fire.  So I’m flipping around a bunch of different websites to see what was going on, and on one of the sites I see a picture of the French President, Nicolas Sarkozy, riding his bicycle on the French Riviera like a 5 year old kid with a big fucking smile on his face.  I go on to read that he isn’t alone.  Most of the finance ministers in Europe are either currently on vacation, or just getting back.  Even the Italian leaders went on vacation, despite the fact that this entire market swoon was arguably a direct result from worries over Italian bond spreads.  Of course, we all know the United States Congress is currently taking their annual vacation, patting themselves on the backs for almost destroying the entire country and getting nothing done all year.  My little brother works for a linen company in New Jersey, and he can’t even take a full week of vacation because there is too much work to do.  Meanwhile, these fuckers are residing over the global economy and ultimately the fate of an entire generation of people, and they go on month-long vacations without thinking twice about it.  Being politicians, I would expect them to at least pretend like they give a shit.

 

In other political news, the Republican primary season is officially underway with the most exciting and important event of the year – The Iowa Straw Poll.  I hope you can pick up on the sarcasm, because I am laying it on pretty thick.  This is when all the candidates for the Republican presidential ticket go to Iowa and pretend that they give a shit about Iowa.  And as always in modern-day Republican primaries, the dumbest, most ignorant piece of shit candidate usually wins.  This year was no exception as Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann won by a landslide.  Bachmann makes Sarah Palin look like a Rhodes Scholar.  She thinks the founding fathers of our country abolished slavery, even though almost all of them had an army of slaves.  But like I said earlier, the dumber the better in this contest.  Iowans only care about getting farm subsidies and ethanol mandates.  They hate the government and they blame it for everything wrong in the world, but their entire economy is based on the government fixing corn prices and setting ethanol mandates that don’t make any fucking sense from an economic or environmental standpoint.  The only reason this bullshit farming welfare is still on the books is because Iowa is always the first state to vote in primaries.  I’m sorry I really don’t mean that.  Iowa is first because, more so than any other state, the people there epitomize the American population as a whole.  And if you can’t pick up on the sarcasm there, than you must be from Iowa.

Debt Ceiling Resolution?

Well there’s nothing like waiting until the last minute to get shit done.  Of course I’m referring to the elected morons in the United States Congress.  I guess they do the same shit we used to do in college when we had a paper to write – wait until the night before its due, score some uppers, and then knock it out at 4:00am even though you had 3 months to do it.  At some point Sunday evening, Obama and congressional leaders from both parties made some shady backroom deal to raise the debt ceiling in return for a shitload of spending cuts (approx. $2.5 trillion).  Supposedly the first $1 trillion will be cuts in discretionary spending, and will be spread out over 10 years.  The rest of the cuts will be determined by a bipartisan congressional committee, so who the hell knows when or if that will ever happen.  Of course there are no specifics on what will be cut because nobody actually has the balls to say anything publicly.  That might hurt their chances of getting re-elected, which obviously takes precedent over everything else.  These pricks would probably give up their children if it meant they had a better chance of winning an election.

And it’s funny how everyone is calling this a compromise.  Basically, the douchebag conservatives in the House got everything they wanted and more.  In return, they agreed to not destroy the global economy.  It’s a good thing Obama is not a used car salesman, because this fucking guy does not know how to negotiate.  He is the president of the United States, but I guess he feels guilty about using that to his advantage when making a deal.  After his first meeting with the Tea Party jerkoffs, he offered them everything they wanted right off the bat.  To this, they thoughtfully told him to go fuck himself.  Then they proceeded to go on every cable news TV show and rant about how the president is a fucking loser, a pussy and a lazy piece of shit who has never come up with a plan to do anything about the deficit.  After that, Obama got really pissed off and did what any other powerful leader would do – He called them back into his office and offered them even more shit.  Could you imagine what Vladimir Putin would do if Eric Cantor tried to punk him in the media?  He would probably execute the guy’s entire family.

I should mention that this deal is not final until both houses of Congress vote on it.  Obviously I am assuming the president would not go on TV and brag about it unless he knew he had the votes, but anything could happen.  This whole thing could just be a ruthless plot by House Republicans to embarrass the shit out of Obama.  They’re probably all ripping beers on the floor of Congress laughing their asses off right now.  I’m hearing that Republicans are pissed off that some of these cuts might come out of the Defense budget.  That will be reason enough for those assholes to vote ‘no.’  God help us if we can’t buy more missile launchers and tanks that we’ll never fucking use.  I’m sure there will be more to say on this subject later.