Back in Black

Regrettably, NWR has been on somewhat of a hiatus since 2013. It doesn’t make sense for me to go back and try to cover 4 years of news, but I’d like to use this post to reflect on some important events…

Since my last post was a discussion about the future of the Catholic Church, I believe it’s worth mentioning that the Church did good in its pope selection. Pope Francis is almost too good to be true. Unlike every other pope in modern history, he is not a hardliner on social issues such as abortion and gay rights. He still recognizes the official Church positions, but they are not a priority. Rather, he is focused primarily on poverty, globalization, women’s rights, and economic empowerment. In other words, he actually gives a shit about things that matter. This is radically progressive behavior for a pope. Anyway, solid move by the cardinals to pick that guy.

What else happened since the NWR blackout?

After 60 years of tension and a full scale economic embargo, the U.S. finally restored diplomatic relations with Cuba. Good news if it stands, but should have happened 25 years ago. The policy was implemented at the height of the cold war in 1960 after Fidel Castro seized control of the country. The Bay of Pigs invasion and Cuban Missile Crisis happened when Kennedy was POTUS. Point being, we had legitimate beef with Cuba back in the 60s and vice-versa. Not so much after the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991. Since then, we’ve had a Cuban embargo in place because Florida is a swing state in presidential elections, and Cuban refugees have always been a huge GOP constituency there. That’s the only fucking reason.

In other news, thanks to cell phone cameras and (ironically) police car cams, America is finally getting to see how easy it is for police to shoot unarmed black people with no repercussions. There’s still no legal consequences in most cases, but I suppose the video footage is at least embarrassing for the cops. These incidents finally gave the civil rights community enough media exposure to support a political movement to prevent this injustice. But unfortunately, they fucked it all up by giving it a stupid name (Black Lives Matter) and having a mindless douchebag as their public face (Colin Kapernick).

What else?

ISIS has continued to raise hell in Iraq, Syria, Europe, and many other places throughout the world. But there’s a lot of moving parts to that situation, so I’d rather dedicate a full post to that story later.

In entertainment news, the world finally discovered that Bill Cosby is a hardcore sexual predator, and has been for decades. Sadly, Robin Williams passed away from an apparent suicide. And most recently, Donald J. Trump has been elected to the office of President of the United States of America. We are living in interesting times. It may be an exciting time for some people, scary for others, and indifferent to the silent majority of sheep out there. However you look at it, there’s one indisputable fact that nobody can deny: America needs The Noonan World Report… now more than ever.

– Kevin

The Case for Common Sense

If you want to protect your family from the slim chance of a home invasion, you have this right as an American. Get a glock with a magazine that holds 20-30 rounds, a security system, and a pit bull. If you need more than this, you are either way too paranoid or you’re a fucking pussy. First of all, ‘Scarface’ was just a movie. And in case you watched that movie, the arsenal of weapons Al Pacino had didn’t do him much good. Get over this whole bullshit Second Amendment right to bear machine guns and rocket launchers. Learn how to shoot a reasonable gun, or go fuck yourself.

I know the classic NRA comeback, so I will knock it down right now: “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” Okay, excellent point. Here is my response: “People who are firing a weapon with high-capacity magazines that shoot 100 rounds per minute will kill a lot more fucking people than those with 20-30 rounds.” So the question comes down to how many dead children do we want to bury? I personally would rather see less dead kids when some psychopath decides to go buck wild. I will agree that we cannot prevent the violent behavior of every individual. But we can indeed take steps to prevent the casualties that result from such behavior.


Another NRA classic: “More guns prevent gun violence, so we should keep an armed guard at all schools.” Rebuttal: “If I’m a raging psychopath who wants to kill people, the first person I’ll shoot is the guy with the gun. Crazy people are not stupid.” And besides this point, who is paying for the armed guard? The State? Are we gonna get rid of the history department or girls athletics to pay for this guy to stand out in front of school all day? I know the Feds aren’t paying for it as long as there is a GOP-controlled House of Representatives. Stupid fucking idea unless you disguise the guy as an administrator somehow, and even so, who pays for it?

The NRA blames video games and movies for a violent culture in America that is ultimately responsible for such shootings. This may be the dumbest shit I ever heard. Yeah we should just slash the 1st Amendment in favor of the second. Even for an NRA douchebag, this is pretty fucking ridiculous. And the other idea gaining popularity is to arm all teachers. Wow. I’m thinking the people who came up with this one have never been to an actual city. Maybe this will work in West Texas, but the sixth graders at schools in Chicago will take that fucking gun from little Ms. Johnson before she is done giving her syllabus. This dude may not shoot up the school, but he’ll shoot someone with that fucking gun. Now you got state-issued firearms being used to commit murders all over American cities. Fabulous idea.

Bottom line is this: There is no need for assault weapons or high-capacity magazines unless you want to kill a shitload of people in a very small amount of time. If you are not currently in the military, than this should not apply to you. Hell, most military operations don’t even require that type of firepower anymore. If you are a gun nut conspiracy theorist, trust me, the government is not gonna snatch all your firearms and prevent you from forming a 1790-style militia. And I got news for you, if they wanted to do so, they could do it easily no matter how much firepower you have. They could drop a fucking missile on your house from 5,000 miles away. Therefore, even if your dumbass conspiracy were to come true, you are still fucked. So let’s just agree to ban assault rifles and limit some senseless casualties. This should not be a partisan issue. It’s a fucking issue of humanity.

– Kevin